After years of even its own residents being willing to get rid of their city’s admittedly lackluster name, today Federal Way announced it would be renaming itself Freeway Exit.
“Contrary to everyone’s derisive jokes about us, we’re actually an excellent South Sound waterfront community with dazzling views of Mount Rainier—it’s way past time for a rebrand,” said Federal Way turned Freeway Exit Mayor Jim Ferrell. “The days of our city lazily being named after a federally-funded highway just because everyone here was too dead inside to name this area something cooler before we officially incorporated as city in 1990 are over. Welcome to Freeway Exit! Centered on Opportunity to Always Have a Better Name for Itself.”
Many were upset there wasn’t a more collaborative and creative public input process for narrowing down a new name for the city, though.
“It appears the only other city names considered besides Freeway Exit were similarly disappointing ones the mayor came up with, including Carpet, Desk and Lamp,” said one Federal Way resident, Don Fergundy, during a city council public comment today. “Mayor, did you really love the other proposed city names—Carpet, Desk, Lamp, Chick-fil-A and Used Condom—or were you just suggesting those things for city names because you were currently looking at them? Couldn’t we at least just be Pacific Highway?”
Inspired by Freeway Exit’s bold city rebrand, Des Moines is reportedly already considering a city name change as well to something easier to pronounce like Cedar Rapids.
