Thousands gathered in Redmond over the weekend at its two new Sound Transit light rail stations to celebrate the Seattle suburb finally being interesting enough to be mentioned in a Needling headline.
“It’s been a long wait, especially having to watch Kirkland, Kenmore, Bothell, Sammamish, and even Duvall get noticed by Seattle’s Only Real Fake News years ahead of us, but our day has finally come,” said Redmond Mayor Angela Birney. “We did it! We’re finally just barely relevant enough for The Needling to acknowledge we exist.”
Needling editor Lex Vaughn said mentioning Redmond even once in a headline is the culmination of years of hard work and planning.
“For years, the challenge of thinking about Redmond long enough to make fun of it without getting bored and zoning out into a wall for a half hour was impossible,” Vaughn said. “Not even the first light rail station at the Microsoft campus that opened a while ago could make them relevant enough to write about. But with the help of Sound Transit engineers making it possible to take light rail to see Phantogram and STARFKR this summer we finally did it. You’re welcome, Redmond.”
At press time, The Needling assured Bellevue it was still its favorite Eastside city to make fun of and always will be.
