Mariners fans were puzzled at T-Mobile Park concession stands today when they were asked if they wanted to round up at checkout to help fund a new cleanup hitter for the team.
“Pretty sure after spending $37 on parking, $158 on tickets, and $25 on this novelty trident cup I’ve done more than my part to help the team,” said Pam Cromwell, who drove her family in from Auburn. “This is getting out of hand—I couldn’t even count how many canvassers I had to avoid between my seat and here asking if I wanted to donate today to the Big Dumper Foundation for Kids Who Can’t Dump Good and Wanna Learn How to do Other Stuff Good Too.”
Mariners management is also raising money for the team in several other new ways this season, including spaghetti dinners on Tuesdays at a local Eagle’s Lodge in Fall City, and getting a Pioneer Square Dental Office to sponsor the team’s away game uniforms.
“We’re doing the fans a favor by offering them this opportunity to help fund the team,” said general manager Justin Hollander. “It’s a chance to understand what it’s like to be part-owner of the team, but without any say to make any choices that will ever even get us into the playoffs again.”
After the All-Star break, team management says fans can expect to see the Mariner Moose coming around with a hat with a Venmo QR Code, asking fans to support an additional team physician.
