The 2025 Mariners season began officially today as former 10-time All Star and National Baseball Hall of Fame inductee Ichiro Suzuki threw out the ceremonial first fish.
“He was at Pike Place Market every day this last week impressing tourists with how hard he could knock the wind out of fishmongers behind the counter,” said Mariners manager Dan Wilson. “They were so happy to have him even if he did steal a record number of sea basses.”
Even the fish said it was honored to be thrown by Ichiro.
“This was my first time inside T-Mobile Park and I could not have been thrown by a nicer guy,” said the fish. “My biggest fear was hitting a bird on the way to home plate, so it was a weight off my scales when I felt myself land safely in the catcher’s newspaper.”
At press time, the fish was further excited to hear that later on in the game he’d be teaming up with a beer batter.
