Fed up with the excuses people are making for still driving Teslas despite all the shame Elon Musk has brought upon the electric vehicle brand, today one local man hilariously spray painted a giant red dick on someone’s—ah shit, that’s a Hyundai.
“If people still driving Teslas around these days think they’re gonna do it in peace, guess again, I have no sympathy for you—wait, fuck, oh I’m so sorry,” said the anonymous vandal on a video uploaded onto Reddit that went viral this week. “Wait, how is this not a Tesla? Why does it look so much like a Tesla, though? Lemme look up what model this is … 45? Okay, they had it coming a little then.”
The owner of the ill-fated owner of the Hyundai in the video is far from the only non-Tesla EV owner driving around with throbbing red phalluses spray painted to the sides of their cars.
“So many innocent Toyota, Kia, and Subaru electric vehicle paint jobs are being attacked—won’t someone think of their drivers, who would do anything to save the environment short of taking public transit?” said one Kia Niro owner as they surveyed the damage left while they were shopping at the store today. “Can’t y’all just learn a little more about different EV car models and make sure you’re adding Amazon’s Rivians to your hit list instead?”
At press time, lack of electric vehicle model knowledge beyond Tesla was continuing to get out of hand as a 15-foot red member was found spray painted on the side of an electric King County Metro bus.
