It was on this day in November 13, 1851 that the Denny Party famously announced their arrival to the Puget Sound region by sticking a piece of chewing gum on a rock, marking the beginning of the settlement that would become Seattle and the genesis of one of the city’s most popular landmarks.

“After the Denny Party arrived at Alki Point, Arthur Denny quickly surveyed the area for the nearest Duwamish settlement and proceeded to stick a big wad of chewing gum on a rock to stake their disgusting claim in what would become Pike Place Market,” said historian Tanya Dover, carefully removing a petrified piece of gum from a glass case. “Duwamish elders were disgusted by this act and quickly scraped the gum off, but the rest of the Denny Party returned to defiantly cover the rock in gum— the origins of the infamous gum wall we know today. You can only imagine the destructive diseases that this putrid petri dish wrought, and the rest is history.”

Pike Place tour guide Colleen Miller regularly regales curious tourists about how the Dennys’ oral fixation created a sticky fixture in Seattle.

“A few years ago, local scientists took a core sample that gave us a fascinating timeline of Seattle over the years, from three foot-thick layers of Bubble Yum from the Pete Carroll-Seahawks era to the cocaine-laced gum popular in the 1890s,” said Miller, ducking to avoid a dripping Juicy Fruit stalactite. “Here we have the rare opportunity to literally reach out and taste the history around you. So, next time you’re walking through Post Alley and start dry heaving, thank the nasty little freaks in the Denny Party for creating a gooey legacy that not even the Seattle rains can wash away.”

Join us next time as we recall the story of an overly-chatty bridge Troll and the passive aggressive witch that turned him to stone so she wouldn’t have to make small talk, which spawned the phrase “Seattle Freeze.”

Previous articleSan Andreas Earthquake Welcome to Launch West Coast Off to Sea Anytime Now
Next articleHome Depot Unveils 12-Foot Turkey Carcass Skeleton