After a brutal presidential election loss Tuesday, this week one liberal shitting on Latinos online harder and longer than anyone ever shit on Nancy Pelosi’s desk celebrated the silver lining that at least Democrats know how to concede with class.
“Yes, we lost—but you know what we’re not gonna do? Storm the Capitol on Jan. 6,” said Carrie Bradley who immediately stormed online Nov. 6 to say she can’t wait to see Latinos’ mothers get deported. “Because we’re better and smarter than those violent racists. Considering that, I still can’t begin to imagine why we didn’t get 100% of the Latino vote.”
Despite the grim realities of a second Trump term, Bradley said it gave her great solace that she and other Kamala Harris supporters were only reacting with complete composure to the loss by productively wishing poverty, death and exile particularly upon non-white people who didn’t vote for her.
“Yes, a majority of white men and women voted for Trump, but what’s most concerning here is how there are non-white groups who didn’t 100% comply with what I thought they should do,” Bradley said while swirling a white wine in a home she owns as she thought of the next way she was going to own every poor and non-white person who didn’t vote for Harris. “It’s a given white people are allowed to be unhinged and unfiltered anytime they want no matter the damage to anyone else, so I’m whatever about that for whatever reason. But this 36% of Hispanic men, 19% of Black men and especially Arab-Americans whose population is so small it didn’t even make it into any of these exit polls as a category? They’re the real problem and that’s why I’ve spent every day since Nov. 5 telling them that as viciously as possible because someone’s gotta teach them a lesson if both parties’ support for genocide, awful treatment of immigrants at the border, and legal slavery in prisons hasn’t already.”
At press time, Bradley—who was too busy rainbow color ordering a 16-foot bookcase to mention anything about Gaza this last year—finally bravely and generously broke her silence on the issue to say she can’t wait for Arab-Americans who didn’t vote for Harris to see Palestine finally finished.
