After stopping by a Sonic Drive-in for the first time on her way back from TikToking a hike, 19-year-old Seattle Gen-Zer Hannah Larson said she’s finally starting to get why so many people want the Sonics to come back to Seattle so bad.
“My whole life I’ve just been like, why are the Sonics such a big deal? We already have so many Dick’s,” said Hannah while sipping her first cherry limeade at an Everett Sonic Drive-in. “But I get it now because Dick’s doesn’t have people risking life and limb to deliver food to you on roller skates despite having no health insurance or high enough wages to pay out-of-pocket when they inevitably have to go to the ER. The courage! The athleticism! And, most of all, the way my TikTok of them falling on their ass while carrying five milkshakes went viral! Legendary.”
Hannah’s childhood friend Ashley who came with her on the hike admitted she felt a bit sheepish that she had just found out what the Sonics really were.
“I always thought people were talking about Sonic the Hedgehog and his friends coming back to film another Sonic movie based in Seattle again,” said Ashley. “I feel so stupid. It makes a lot more sense people were talking about a drive-in restaurant that isn’t in Seattle. They must super-size everything at the SuperSonics I’ve heard about.”
At press time, Hannah and Ashley were trying to join online campaigns to Bring Back the Sonics but had no idea why so many of them were branded with the wrong colors and were so obsessed with basketball.
