After years of his daughter asking what he does all day at work, today local tech employee and father Mike Larson said he was excited to take her to Take Your Child to Work Day so he can also finally find out what he does too.
“Honey, I’ve been wondering the same thing this whole time,” said Mike as he laid a hand on his 8-year-old’s shoulder as they sat in his cubicle. “Is this line of code I just wrote helping to find the cure to cancer or create a smart bomb that can detect whenever a Palestinian child experiences joy? I have no idea! Can’t wait to find out with you today, pumpkin!”
Just like his daughter, Mike said he was also excited to meet who he works with for the first time.
“Six years into working here, I can’t wait to finally meet coworkers I’ve never seen without a muted Zoom screen or giant headphones steel-bolted into their skulls,” Mike said. “Maybe one of them can tell us what we do all day! Either way, if you can decode Taylor Swift’s latest album, can you also decode what it means when my boss says my core competency is 10xing thought shower KPIs for boiling ocean ROI leverage or ‘it is what it is?’”
At press time, the farthest Mike and his daughter had gotten to finding out what he does for a living is asking an AI chatbot who revealed to them that his job is to just do what he’s told and not ask too many questions.
