A study released today solidified Seattle’s reputation as an intellectual capital of the world after it confirmed that more Seattleites pretend to read more books per capita than any other city on Earth.
“It’s undeniable – this city just loves books! And by that we mean being seen with the books,” said sociologist Dr. Sara Finnegan, the study’s lead researcher. “More than any other city in the country and maybe the world, Seattleites are leaders in knowing what books it looks good to seem like they’re reading and they make sure everyone knows it through zoom meeting backgrounds, Instagram posts and referencing anti-racist books they definitely haven’t even read the first chapter of.”
Asked if the typically rainy Pacific Northwest weather had anything to do with the city’s love of being inside with books, Dr. Finnegan said no.
“Seattleites are just homebodies at heart who love to curl up with a good book on their bed, then watch five hours of Netflix and TikTok instead,” Dr. Finnegan said. “None of the latter is healthy, but it just sort of doesn’t feel as bad if there’s a stack of books nearby that show how smart and progressive you could be if a complete power outage lasts long enough.”
At press time, local bookstores reported they didn’t really care whether they’re getting read because as long as they’re not getting bought at Amazon, it’s really the thought of reading that counts.
