The decades-long struggle for people’s desperate “backdoor” cries to be heard is reportedly worse than most already thought after it was discovered that even the repeated backdoor calls of one King County Metro bus driver’s wife have gone unanswered.
“I swear, no matter what you do or say, this guy cannot seem to catch a f’ing hint—I’m at a total loss at how to get his attention so he can finally open it up and let me get off on some anal play,” said Amanda Gorley, the sexually distraught wife of local Metro driver Sean Gorley. “I don’t know—maybe he’s like a gyno who sees too many pussies all day to want one at the end of the day, but in his case it’s that he sees and gets inside too many bussies.”
Amanda said she’s gone to great and creative lengths to pique his interest in new sexual frontiers they could explore together.
“Yesterday I showed him a piece I wrote for The Needling with a bunch of jokes about a guy getting ash rubbed in his face and he didn’t even get the joke let alone figure out what I was hoping to get as a little Valentine’s Day gift this week,” Amanda said, shaking her head. “Sometimes I get on his route to see everyone else’s cries for backdoor being ignored too just to feel less alone.”
Asked what redeeming qualities her husband has that keep her invested in their relationship, she admitted he is pretty good at opening front doors.
