According to one local woman who cocoons in at least six artificial forms of sunlight a day, Seattle weather reportedly “really isn’t that bad.”
“The whole lack of sun thing is sort of an urban legend,” said Janet Barone after polishing off a breakfast of half a dozen of Vitamin D pills and spending the rest of the morning under about $700 of sun lamps. “Honestly, it’s way overblown and people love to exaggerate it so no one else moves here.”
Barone conceded that after moving to Seattle a few years ago, the lack of sunshine “got to me” for a little bit, but spoke to adapting, adjusting, and “getting used to it.”
“I mean sure, when I first moved to Seattle, would I slink outside and lay on the pavement like a bearded dragon under a heat lamp at any brief window of sunshine? Of course, but not anymore because really you acclimate pretty quickly to it,” said Barone as she prepared to stare directly into a flashlight with binoculars for the afternoon. “I clocked over 300 seconds of sunshine today, so anyone who says there isn’t sun in Seattle is just lying. Oh, watch your step! These lamps are sucking up enough voltage to power an entire aircraft carrier.”
By the end of The Needling’s interview with her, Barone was scaling a dangerously tall tree because she was “pretty sure” she saw some sunlight on a branch.
