One local woman says she’s less than a week away from finishing a successful Dry January, and it’s all thanks to being supported all the way through by her boyfriend, Henry, who doesn’t ever go down on her.
“This Dry January I’ve learned that there are so many other ways to feel numb and dead inside—and settling for a man like Henry is one of them,” said Jessica Stevens while caressing her boyfriend’s supportive hand. “For way too long, I’ve been telling myself the only way to forget my stressful work day is swilling down an entire bottle of red when I get home. But it’s actually way more effective to just see red every time I think about the ratio of blow-jobs to cunnilingus in this relationship.”
Henry said he loves Jessica and would do literally anything for her except establish any semblance of consistent reciprocity in the bedroom.
“Yeah, I don’t really know why she drinks so much – that’s her business, but I’m here to help any way I can—well, almost!” Henry said. “The last thing I want for her is a Wet January.”
Jessica said she doesn’t know if she can ever repay him for saving her from breaking sobriety this last month, but will try to soon by supporting him through an entire month of Dry Fellatio February.
