Eyes popped and tongues rolled out of panting mouths shouting “awoogah” today in Seattle when one naked tree culminated its dazzling, three-month strip tease routine by playfully tossing aside its final leaf to the ground.
“These leaves just get so heavy when I’m wet,” said the completely bare, dripping tree as the leaf floated away to fully reveal every quivering last inch of its ashen trunk and branches to speechless onlookers. “Well, that’s this fall’s show, folks – be sure to tip your baristas who made PSL and chai lattes for you to sip on while you watched. Also, don’t forget to sign up for updates on next year’s show through my Only Fans page at Burly Maple Burlesque.”
While most tree lovers walked away amazed, some admitted they actually prefer it when trees are wearing a little more.
“It’s always better to leave more to the imagination and not have it all hanging out there, in my book,” said the tree’s neighbor Nancy Staley. “I think she actually looks even more beautiful covered up in a modest green canopy myself, but what do I know? Trees these days.”
At press time, the tree was looking forward to a relaxing winter of doing nothing fully nude and hoping no rich asshole wants to build a children’s playground nearby.
