Ever the champion for inclusion and cultural diversity, local gentile coworker Todd Wilkerson impressed his Jewish colleagues today by following up his impressive gift of challah bread for Passover earlier this year with a box of Matzo for Hanukkah.
“It really speaks volumes that Todd would go out of his way to recognize a religious holiday he doesn’t celebrate himself with an entire gift,” said Todd’s coworker, Maggie Levin. “Sure, not far out of his way enough to know we can’t eat leavened breads like challah at Passover and that we never want to so much as see a matzo box outside of Passover, but hey, it’s the way he’s convinced himself he really knows about and cares about other cultures that counts.”
Another one of Todd’s Jewish coworkers wasn’t as keen on the Hanukkah matzo gift though.
“I feel like he just walked into a grocery store that every year never quite understands why no one is buying the extra matzo they put out for Hanukkah except guys like Todd,” said Ralph Cohen. “I kinda prefer the illusion that at least some coworkers who don’t get me those kinds of gifts know more than he does about Jewish holidays. I also prefer not feeling like I have to get him a gift for Christmas now – God, what an asshole. Our black coworkers can’t wait to act like they celebrate Kwanzaa when he gives them menorahs later this month.”
At press time, Ralph and Maggie had already gone in together on Christmas gift of several candy-filled Easter eggs for Todd.
