After agreeing they had a lovely time together, today people all over Seattle are talking about how close we’re getting to winter in hopes the sun will finally take a fucking hint and get out of here already.
“Wow, we were having so much fall fun together I didn’t even realize how late in the season it’s getting! But look at that—all the leaves are almost off all the trees,” said Seattle resident Emily Riggs as she wrapped her arm around her husband Hank’s waist with a tired little sigh. “Well, you probably have to head back south before it gets too late and all of the Californians lose their tans right? Right, well it’s been nice—see you next year!”
The sun, alas, remained on their doorstep for what seemed an eternity as it insisted on spending more time together instead of taking the slightest of motherfucking hints.
“Look, I love the sun in small doses, but he’s such an exhausting extrovert sometimes—he just doesn’t get that sometimes all we wanna do is huddle inside under a relaxing blanket of gray and do nothing,” Emily said while Hank took over engaging with the sun so she could get a small break inside. “Everyone under the sun knows you should never stay at someone’s place for longer than three days, except the sun apparently.”
At press time, Emily and Hank had progressed from nodding at the sun on their porch to standing inside their entryway and beginning the process of closing the door an inch per five minutes until it’s finally shut for the day. The sun reportedly said he’ll be around at least another two days “in case you wanna go out again” while he’s still in town.
