After a months-long pursuit, today a Florida man was arrested in Miami for committing an alleged identity fraud of beloved Cuban-American rapper Pitbull.
“When we apprehended the man, he was still wearing several of the victim’s stolen clothing items, including a patterned button-up with top unbuttoned, gold-framed aviators, and tight off-white pants he had stuffed with tissues at the crotch,” said Miami-Dade County Sheriff Martin Mendoza, who said they’d been looking for him since New Year’s Eve. “We’re just glad we were able to catch him before he committed the additional crimes of going on-stage at a club tonight and trying to rap.”
When it was discovered that the Florida man actually had quite a bit of money—just no personality of worth on his own—Pitbull announced that the man was welcome to steal his identity any time.
“I look forward to this man becoming as devoted to closing the poverty gap with his free time and disposable income as I am by stepping up to better fund children’s educations, disaster recovery projects, and countless other humanitarian efforts both here in America and abroad,” Pitbull said in a statement. “I’ve been calling on rich businessmen in America to step and do their part for years—Feel the Moment, show International Love because We Are One (Ole Ola) and together we’re gonna save the Amazon. If this is the only way it’s gonna happen, so be it.¡Dale!”
At press time, the Florida man had already somehow slipped out of authorities’ hands after his booking to steal another identity, which is reportedly Tony Montana’s.
