Today the last Slutty Ron DeSantis costume in Eastern Washington was sold to one lucky customer at the Spirit Halloween store in Kennewick, Wash.
“It can be so hard to find sexy costumes in men’s husky small for my sweetie-poo—but when I saw the stubby little boots, I had to grab the only Slutty Ron DeSantis costume left for my husband Karl,” said Deloris Pentry. “I just know those boots—with their higher than average heels—are going to make Karl feel taller, like a manly man. I can’t wait to see where that leads to Halloween night! It’s been awhile, if you know what I mean …”
In addition to the stubby little boots, The Slutty Ron DeSantis costumes come with a blue plaid cut-off shirt, an oversized cowboy hat, and highwater jeans to reveal the man’s boot-bound cankles.
“I ain’t gay or nothin’, but I know a sexy man when I see one,” said Karl Pentry. “Ron DeSantis’s boots really do it for me — I mean, Deloris. I can’t wait until Halloween when I finally get to let it all hang out and look just like Ron, boots pulled over those thick, throbbing ankles. Nobody’s fat, hairy belly looks better in plaid shirts than that stud. And his hat … oh that hat — it screams, ‘I can’t quit you!’ I just know I’m gonna turn my buddies’ heads this Halloween. It’s gonna be hot! You know, in a ‘don’t say gay’ kind of way.”
As of press time, Deloris was still waiting for magic to happen while Karl was seen dancing his little heart out in his stubby little boots to “These Boots Are Made for Walkin’.”
