Greenlake — Seattle Public Library officials unveiled their newest prestige purchase today: The last remaining copy of the Necronomicon.
“This acquisition really makes our catalog world-class,” said Seattle Public Library spokeswoman Thisely Sindler. “The Necronomicon’s human-skin binding and blood-inked pages survived the purges and cleansing fires of the Byzantine empire and Salem Witch Trials. We’re proud to have it as part of our collection.”
The elusive grimoire, which has existed only in legend for generations and can purportedly lift the veil of our world to reveal the black, endless chasm beyond time and space, was purchased from a private collector connected to the Necronomicon author, Abdul Alhazred, Sindler says. The Dark manuscript, documenting the darkness beyond our world and the return of the Yog-Sothoth, was reportedly purchased for a surprisingly low $29.95.
At the Greenlake Library, where the Necronomicon is being held on display, patrons have begun speaking in tongues and staring into the sun while laughing maniacally.
“We’re just excited to see so many people excited about this exhibit,” Sindler said, as tears of blood began to form at the corners of her eyes and the sky slowly darkened.
