In a moving and touching tribute, today a lone fallen leaf received an entire 12-hour leaf-blower salute before being laid to rest by loyal local deciduous tree watchguard Fred Nederson.
“No single leaf is too insignificant for this honor,” said Nederson as he donned an oxygen mask to recover from spending literally half the day pumping black exhaust from his personal fossil fuel bag pipe into his neighborhood’s air. “Every time one falls – and this early in the season, it’s basically just one a day – I’m right there making sure everyone within an at least five-block radius immediately knows it.”
Neighbors couldn’t help but take notice that the local leaf was indeed gone too soon.
“At first I assumed he was just so eager to use his leaf blower this month that he was chasing the poor leaf around the block like a new pet,” said neighbor Stan Bickles. “But then I looked out the window and realized he was just standing there saluting with the leafblower at attention with the most stoically blank, vacant stare on his face I’ve ever seen for hours on-end. It really makes you want to think, even though that’s impossible while someone next-door is using a leaf blower.”
In just two short weeks when far more leaves are falling at once, Nederson assured local leaf lovers that he’s getting help from other neighbors to honor them with a full 12-hour, 12-leaf blower salute.
