In an effort to prove to the city that it’s absolutely “fine” and excited to turn a new leaf after the Kraken’s close Game 7 playoff loss to Dallas last night, today the Seattle Space Needle spontaneously dyed its Galaxy Gold top hot purple.
“I didn’t even want the Stanley Cup,” said the Needle as it puffed a blunt and brushed the “Purple Haze” dye onto coloring foils. “Just like I didn’t want the 2015 Super Bowl. This is the first day of the rest of my life. Maybe I’ll go back to having a 50-foot flaming torch on top like I did in the ’60s too—you don’t know me.”
Friends of the Space Needle were especially shocked at the landmark’s impulsive bout of creativity because it was already scheduled for a new coloring next week.
“I know I already had an appointment to get my top professionally done next week with a more classic ‘Astronaut White’ look, but then I thought, why not do something a little more exciting myself right now?” the Needle said as it removed its foils and revealed its new neon-color mane. “Omg I love it! Who could waste another moment thinking about anything Kraken-related when you’re out here looking and feeling this hot! I am absolutely in every way so, so, so fine. Should I turn Seattle Center into a public rave tonight—yes or YES?!”
At press time, Space Needle employees had shifted their full attention to blocking the building’s entrance to prevent the landmark’s rushed, same-day delivery order of hot-pink curtain bangs.
