Admittedly a little crestfallen so many people criticized his first trip to outer space two years ago, billionaire and former Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos said today he was genuinely touched and a little bewildered by how many people suddenly and inexplicably now support his passion for in-person space exploration.
“I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you now say you’d love to see me try to get to the moon, Mars, or even as far as Uranus – but I think I’ve already been to that last one, right?” Bezos laughed with a little wink. “Jokes aside, I’m just so moved people finally understand why spending money on someone like me indulging in his each and every dream is obviously more important than saving millions of lives on Earth I could drastically change for the better right now.”
With the public’s support, he hopes it will be easier to convince CEO friends like Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg and as many conservative Supreme Court Justices as possible to join him.
“It’s so refreshing to hear people don’t really see any problem or conflicts of interest if Justices Thomas and Alito join me up here,” Bezos said with a sigh of relief. “Everyone used to make such a fuss! I don’t know what changed everyone’s tune because I’ve been busy proving to Elon my rocket is bigger and better than his, but I’m just glad everyone came around.”
Although he initially declined the invitation, Bezos said that, due to his new fans’ popular demand, he’ll possibly consider joining Zuckerberg and Elon’s reportedly real future cage match.
