The nation’s debt ceiling came crashing down today after an enthusiastic feminist flew straight through it, accidentally thinking it was the glass ceiling that’s kept women from being president for 247 years.
“Omg, sorry, everyone! I shatter a lot of ceilings in my day-to-day life made of glass that hold back strong women like me. Seems like a lot of people wanted that ceiling permanently broken too anyway, so hope it’s not that big of a deal,” said Minnesota Senator Mina Smith, dusting shards off her blazer and pencil skirt. “God, I swore I thought this glass ceiling was the one that would break this illusion that men are the best, most rational, and emotionally stable people to have at the helm of country even though males are responsible for literally more than 90% of wars, murders and genocides that have ever happened. My mistake!”
Republicans say they want the debt ceiling rebuilt as fast as possible and the other glass ceiling Smith was trying to fly through re-fortified with another layer of Pyrex. Her Democratic colleagues supported her, though, and even celebrated the smashing of the debt ceiling.
“Would they really be this scared if a man shattered the debt ceiling? Exactly,” said Washington Senator Maria Cantwell. “Sen. Smith just made history as the first ever woman to shatter the United States debt ceiling, marking a milestone in a typically male-dominated endeavor.”
Smith said she plans to pave the way for future generations of little girls looking up at her hoping they too can one day cause either a major economic collapse or renaissance just like other male politicians who barely understand what the fuck the debt ceiling is either.
