Sound Transit’s rollout of their new multi-directional conveyance system was spoiled today after its newly installed escher-lators already broke down in three different planes of existence.
“It’s going to be impossible to fix the sideways escher-lators, and I can’t even begin to put a timeline on the upside down ones,” said engineer Kelly Jackson, examining a lithograph blueprint. “We can barely keep the regular ones working—why did we think it was a good idea to add different sources of gravity and dimension? I’m gonna need to take a good long look in the spherical mirror and reflect on how we got here.”
The ill-fated escher-lators, inspired by the “impossible constructions” in M.C. Escher artworks like “Relativity” were supposed to increase accessibility—but left light rail riders with a paradoxical problem.
“Do you know how to get to the Broadway exit? I’ve been trying to leave the station for three hours but I always end up back where I started,” said commuter Kurt Collingwood. “I know time is relative and all, but I’m late for work. And when did we add a second northbound line climbing vertically up the wall?”
Sound Transit’s woes later continued after commuters complained that the newly-installed Dali-vators had already started melting.
