According to shocked local witnesses, yesterday Morticia Wormwood was turned away from a job interview at West Seattle’s famous 50’s diner, Luna Park Café, despite her clear devotion to the goth lifestyle.
“She lives here, she wears a tight, black lace bodice and funeral veil and she didn’t get hired–does anything in this city make sense anymore?” said West Seattle resident Martha Winter. “Doing the Wednesday Addams dance to Joy Division outside with 10 bats she’d summoned was a little desperate, though.”
When interviewed, Luna Park Café stood by their decision not to hire Wormwood.
“First off, she called and demanded we schedule an interview for midnight,” said Luna Park Manager Aurora Bennett. “But we always do our interviews at dusk, when the light drains from the sky and Lord Valtrex rises from his tomb.”
Refusing to take no for an answer, Wormwood reportedly showed up at closing with a boombox raised above her head blasting The Cure.
“It was super annoying because we were already playing The Cure,” Bennett said. “It just sounded like a weird echo from the beyond.”
Wormwood then reportedly attempted to cast an incantation on Bennett to force an interview, but it was ineffective.
“I’ve been working at Luna Park a long-ass time and I know my way around the dark arts,” Bennett says. “Don’t get in my face with your goat head jibber jabber — I’ve got shakes to make.”
