After spending decades as the face of educational TV programming, local authorities say Bill Nye the Science Guy has suddenly broken bad and established an evil lair at the Pacific Science Center.
“Science rules, and soon I will wield its awesome power to rule the world with a mighty iron fist—which is a chemical element with symbol Fe, and the most common magnetic metal,” said Bill Nye, menacingly educating several hostages in his new lair at the Pacific Science Center. “Now that I have taken the city’s greatest scientific monument, I will first conquer Seattle with my fearsome army of animatronic dinosaurs from the Mezosoic era—which means ‘middle life,’ a period that spanned 252-66 million years ago—and then the world!”
Evil Bill Nye continued explaining his scholarly scheme to a chorus of minions, who erupted into cheers of, “Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!”
“Any attempts to raid the Pacific Science Center will be met with swift resistance, as intruders will be hypnotized by the light waves from the Taylor Swift Laser Show in my sinister Laser Dome,” continued Evil Bill Nye, writing ‘LASER = Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation’ on a giant white board with a dry-erase marker. “Now let’s head into the lab and I’ll demonstrate how my new death ray uses the electromagnetic radiation found all around us to explode these ordinary looking potatoes!”
Governments around the world have reportedly already begun to topple, after TV carts were wheeled into capitol buildings from Buenos Aires to Berlin rendering their leaders completely captivated by old VHS reruns of Bill Nye the Science Guy.
