With all the best intentions of creating more joy in the world, today one local first-time voter sheepishly admitted to prematurely casting his ballot before being able to put it into the box.
“I just wanted my first time casting a ballot to be a special election, and I just got a little too excited to finally put it in the box,” said Wilson Benfield, cleaning up near the ballot drop at UW’s Schmitz Hall. “I guess I didn’t seal the return envelope well enough because my ballot just exploded before I even got close. Ugh, there’s democracy everywhere.”
But while Benfield tried to hide his embarrassment, election officials reassured that this phenomenon happens to plenty of first-time voters, and is nothing to be ashamed of.
“It’s perfectly natural to be nervous your first time voting, but the important thing is that you tried to satisfy your civic duty,” said King County Elections spokesperson Ted Wong. “Just take it slow, there’s another one-question ballot coming up in two months so you can get used to voting. By the time the general elections come around you’ll be a regular Don Juan Democracy.”
Election officials later stated that a bigger problem was voting-age men not wanting to use the security sleeve because “their ballot was too big” and “it didn’t feel as good to vote with it on.”
