Local hiker and realistic expectation setter Jason Peters announced that, after completing a written AllTrails review for Rattlesnake Ledge today, he is now officially ready to embark on his ascent of Mount Everest.
“Summiting 1,160 feet and then writing about it for AllTrails it is pretty serious, outdoorsy-type person stuff—I’m basically Jon Krakauer now,” said Peters, as he clicked ‘confirm’ on a $12,531.02 REI online purchase. “And that means I’m finally cleared and fully prepared to climb more than 25,100 feet to the peak of the tallest mountain in the world, all while wearing these 100% new, never-worn hiking and mountaineering boots.”
Peters says reaching this advanced state of hiking conditioning took a lot of time and energy.
“I didn’t just drive to North Bend, you know,” said Peters. “And I didn’t just put on some hiking clothes and then take a lot of selfies at the top—I then went online and created a whole profile on AllTrails to talk about it to a bunch of strangers. It’s pretty intense and not for everyone, but if you really want to do it, all it takes is some time, dedication and talking to everyone you can about how many times you’ve watched 14 Peaks.”
At press time, Peters confirmed that if he successfully summits Little Si this weekend, he will also be immediately cleared and ready to scale K2.
