To prepare for snow arriving in the Seattle area as soon as next week, today one local winter driving aficionado took advantage of the sunny November afternoon to practice driving his new $150k pickup into a drainage ditch behind his house.
“By the time the area is snowed in with a solid two inches of hard pack you can’t get anywhere with all the cars blocking everything, so I decided to get a head start and find my spot in advance,” said Trevor Fisher, doing his best to walk off a concussion. “I’m an outstanding driver—not like all these other crazies. It will save time to get the old girl in place now, especially in such a convenient spot that’s not that far of a walk back home.”
Checking first to make sure there was gas and antifreeze leaking into the watershed, he took a moment to break a few windows.
“I love this time of year. To prepare for last winter, I bought one of those racing snowmobiles like you see in the X Games, and drove it right into the river,” Fisher said. “Sure surprised those girls sun-tanning on the dock—nice July day.”
Due to the Farmers’ Almanac giving a 10 percent chance of sleet and ice storms in the upcoming season, Fisher said tomorrow he’s planning to cut out the middle man by chain-sawing a tree to pre-collapse it straight into the back of his house.
