Today the CEO of local tech startup Bootstrappr announced they would be the first in the industry to ensure every single one of their employees, regardless of race or gender, receive both equal pay and equal harassment.
“And we’re not just talking about sexual harassment here,” said Bootstrappr CEO Phil Hanlon. “We’re talking equally guilt-tripping everyone, without any additional pay or perks, into the emotional labor of putting together office holiday parties, anti-harassment workshops, and being pressured to work late. No matter your sex, race, or decisions you’ve made about whether to have a family, all employees at Bootstrappr are now entitled to being equally treated like shit.”
Asked how the company would equitably roll out harassment to everyone, even Connor, its CEO said a new data-driven app will single-handedly ensure people in all similar roles experience both equal income and gross overstepping of their personal and professional boundaries.
“Instead of an HR department, employees are to report additional harassment to the app so they can log it and make sure the new level of harassment gets pushed out to everyone,” Hanlon said. “We’re confident that once we hire our first female and black employees, they won’t feel singled out.”
At press time, everyone at the company said they were excited to finally thank Connor for his first time working late to organize an office party and/or anti-bias equity training with a swift hair tousle and spank on the ass.
