After the Seattle Kraken unveiled their new mascot, Buoy, was the nephew of the Fremont Troll, the beloved local bridge troll was quick to clarify that the polarizing addition to the local sports scene is only related by marriage.
“Yeah, Buoy is my brother-in-law’s son— he’s a sweet kid, just a little off-putting at first,” said the 18-foot bridge troll. “His mom is Yeti and I think part Treasure Troll, which explains the blue hair. I know he can come on a little strong— he has this gross party trick where he takes his front tooth out and puts it back in, but he means well. He’s really into crypto, though—both currency and zoology—so he’ll fit right in at Kraken games.”
Following the revelation, Needling reporters asked the bridge troll to lay out the finer details of their troll genealogy.
“Oh yeah, there’s lots of different troll families: There’s the Rock Trolls, the Online Trolls, oh and of course the DeVitos—you know Danny is my cousin,” said the Fremont Troll. “Great guy, never let fame get to his head. He still comes to visit once a year to hang out under my bridge and scare tourists. Always a balm to a troll’s soul.”
According to a poll taken this weekend asking which mascot Seattle area sports fans would have preferred, Buoy reportedly placed dead last, just after a giant hiking boot, the Mariner Moose’s nephew, and Jeff Bezos’ sentient glass balls.
