Ghost of late guitar legend Jimi Hendrix reluctantly visited his Renton Highlands gravesite under the duress of out-of-town guests today, a Greenwood Memorial Park groundskeeper confirmed.
“Man, whatever you got waiting for you in Renton is never worth sitting in 405 traffic for. I hate this drive,” the southbound angry spirit muttered while bottlenecked near Exit 10. “The only perk about being buried out here is I can afford a way bigger plot. Doesn’t make sense to pay a jacked-up price for something the size of a coffin in Capitol Hill just because it’s walking distance to Trader Joe’s. The dead don’t eat.”
Fellow musician Elvis Presley, who had come up from Hell to visit Hendrix’s gravesite digs, suggested the trip under the assumption the day would be spent in Seattle and not a neighboring city described by inflight magazines as “diet Kent.”
“Jimi told me he was laid to rest in Seattle, but I guess that’s just something people from Washington say when they’re abroad and buried within 300 miles of the city,” Presley said while counting the number of abandoned grocery carts at the off ramp. “There isn’t much else to do here except hit up the KFC/A&W hybrid, which I’m not really impressed by since we have those everywhere in Hell.”
Hendrix and guests were later seen admiring the gravesite for approximately five minutes before Elvis and his entourage embarked on their 7 trillion-mile journey back home.
