Upon hearing SDOT’s confirmation today that the repaired West Seattle Bridge had passed its final load test before re-opening this Sunday, one West Seattleite who’s been holding in his excitement about it for months subsequently blew his own load test.
“When I saw the news on my phone, I thought I could hold it in but …,” said West Seattle resident Peter Cummings. “I’ve just been fantasizing about it for so long! I’ve been so edgy wondering if it was really ever going to happen. And, finally, here it is! And the proof is in this pudding I’ll need to wash off these pants tonight.”
Fortunately, traffic engineers say Cummings blown load test won’t delay the bridge re-opening this Sunday.
“The only load test that matters is the one we ran and the bridge successfully passed today,” said traffic engineer Eric St. John. “To ensure the bridge is even safer to drive this weekend, though, we do advise people to also perform their own load tests as well before driving across. Just keep the results to yourself, okay? JFC.”
To perform load tests at home, SDOT recommends West Seattle commuters think about not waiting for the 1st Ave. S. Bridge to open. Other Seattle residents can also perform the test by thinking of not getting lost on the Highway 99’s Marginal Way Exit or about how they’re now a half-hour closer to Buddha Ruksa’s crispy garlic chicken again.
