Contrary to previous speculation, Seattle weather is surprisingly quite pleasant, reports newly minted Seattle meteorological expert Scott Caprelli, who moved to town from LA exactly four weeks ago.
“This whole Seattle-is-so-rainy-misty-moody thing is sooo overblown,” said Caprelli while sunning at Alki Beach with a cold Rainier in hand. “In the whole time I’ve been here, it’s only rained two to three days tops!”
Caprelli could be heard calling friends back home to report how much more sunny Seattle weather is than everyone says.
“These people don’t even own umbrellas!” Caprelli said. “How bad could it be?”
Meanwhile, Caprelli’s new friend, Seattle native Tim Swanson, has tried to gently remind the fresh transplant that Seattle is still the cloudiest major city in the Lower 48, with overcast days covering three-fourths of the sky on 226 days a year.
“In the fall and winter of 2016 and 2017, we only had eight sunny days in a seven-month period,” said Swanson, squinting his eyes toward the Olympics over the temporarily cloudless horizon. “Winter is … still coming.”
At press time, Caprelli had recited so many statistics about other major East Coast cities getting more precipitation than Seattle that he’d successfully convinced a friend from Southern California to move here in November.
