While many throughout Washington state are excited about pandemic restrictions coming to an end this weekend, Seattle’s luchador community says they’re struggling to come to grips with what the lifted mask mandate means for their secret identities and colorful zoomorphic masks.
“In addition to giving me superpower suplex powers, masks also protect my secret identity as an accountant for Deloitte & Touche,” said local luchador El Avispón Asesino. “And, if you ask me, we’re all safer when we’re walking around wearing a colorful mask that makes you look like a playful murder hornet that could festively body-slam you at any moment.”
Many bystanders watching the luchadors protest the lifted mask mandate in Olympia today said they took their message to heart.
“I mean, I think they’re right. Do you know how much I look like Kitana from Mortal Kombat when I wear my mask? I look pretty hot honestly, and I’m not sure I’m ready to give that up,” said Natalie Ruiz. “I also don’t think I’m ready to see everyone’s whole face again – that’s scary enough on its own.”
Meanwhile, anti-maskers say they will demand luchadors finally remove their masks or they’ll ask Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis to fly over and shame them personally.
“Last I heard, you can still bring a folding chair with you wherever you want, no mask necesssary,” said local anti-masker Sharon Reilly. “When does it end? The masks, the capes, the boots and the singlets have to come off at some point.”
At press time, the Seattle luchador community’s anti-mask-lifting coalition had already doubled thanks to the unequivocal support of Seattle’s local furry and BDSM communities.
