The worst fears of those monitoring the inevitable havoc of a local Galentine’s Day gathering were confirmed late this morning when it made landfall at Chelsea Gumbel’s Pinterest-inspired breakfast nook as a Category 5 brunch bender.
“We thought the gathering might lose some of its power before it reached Chelsea’s Alki Beach condo because Megan texted she forgot to buy champagne,” said Cory Linden, a local boyfriend who suspects his girlfriend is in the path of what has been dubbed Brunch Bender Brianna. “Unfortunately, this gathering rallied when it became apparent all six other invitees brought an extra bottle of bubbles and OJ, swelling into what can only be described as a torrential downpour of bottomless mimosas the likes of which this city has never seen.”
With no end to raucous laughter left in sight, brunch experts are calling the gathering “the perfect storm.”
“Sunday, sunshine, Galentines’s Day and a Super Bowl distracting the boys elsewhere? I don’t expect this bender to end its onslaught on Chelsea’s charcuterie board anytime soon,” said local husband Tim Bigby. “The only way I could see this getting any worse is if she calls me to pick her up before the game is over. You’re definitely calling a Lyft instead, Brianna.”
Bigby says he’s already declared a state of emergency so he has enough carb resources for tomorrow’s hangover cleanup.
“Fortunately, we already had enough resources to stowed away in preparation for today’s expected Category 5 Super Bowl Bender.”
