Seattle grunge music scene alumni are calling one local infant a “total poser” and “fake” for wearing a onesie bearing the logo of legendary band Nirvana, even though he’s probably never seen them perform live.
“I’ll bet he hasn’t even seen them in utero,” said Seattle Grunge Scene veteran Mike Kinney as he adjusted his Sub Pop trucker hat. “Smells like total Gen Alpha diaper shit, too.”
Kinney’s friend James Spade agreed, pointing out that if it were possible a baby that young could even go to a Nirvana cover band concert, he would most likely need headphones specially designed to block the music from even reaching his tender ear drums.
“I’d be surprised if that baby can even adorably coo the lyrics to In Bloom, much less Dumb,” Spade said. “What’s next? An Instagram post of him in his birthday suit swimming after a dollar bill in a pool? I’ll bet he would.”
Eventually repulsed enough by the baby’s poser wardrobe, Kinney and Spade excused themselves to adjust an ass-crack bunching in their Nirvana-logoed bodysuits.
