Hoping to quell speeding cars racing through residential streets, Seattleites across the city are reportedly replacing their “Drive Like Your Kids Live Here” signs with ones that prompt drivers to imagine their Tesla had to park on the block they’re irresponsibly swerving through.
“Turns out the thought of their own kids being involved in a hit-and-run did nothing to slow them down—requires too much empathy,” said Brody Filbert, the Wallingford resident who printed the neighborhood’s new “Drive Like Your Tesla is Parked Here” signs. “So one day, we wondered, maybe the thought of their Model X’s paint job getting scratched would do the trick, and we were right. When they see this new sign, even the men who don’t drive Teslas yet are visibly weeping at the thought of a Model 3 they might own someday getting harmed in any way.”
Before Filbert and his frustrated neighbors landed on something that worked, even a “Drive Like Your Pets Live Here” sign did nothing, putting into question Seattleites’ supposed love affair with Shiba Inus, corgis and goldendoodles.
“Kids can dodge away from a Subaru, dogs can be leashed,” Filbert said. “But what can a poor, immobile, inanimate Roadster do when its owner had no other option but street parking that day? Just the thought of it, clearly sends a shudder through their spine.”
Since the Tesla signs have been up, speeding has reduced 30 percent on Wallingford streets. The change was negligible on 45th Street, where speeds top out at 10 mph 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
