In a move Silicon Valley business experts say could give gig companies like Doordash, Uber and Postmates a run for their money, new startup LüpHole says it’s offering the general public an even more innovative way to pay gig workers less than minimum wage.
“Why should weaseling around labor laws and living wages under the guise of technological and economic progress be limited to delivering food and groceries?” said LüpHole CEO Lars Beddington. “With LüpHole, you can hire any desperate unemployed sap to do any task for you, all the while keeping them in cruel suspense about whether they’re actually spending a whole hour making less than federal minimum wage. It’s like an even more fucked-up version of Task Rabbit with a trademark algorithm that ensures neither you nor our company pays them a dime more than $7.25 per hour. We’ll even steal most of the tip you give them free of charge.”
Reviews for the new gig economy app so far are glowing.
“Wow! The app’s interface is so slick and easy to use, I can’t help but forget all my so-called progressive values for a moment to hand this Silicon Valley company money it’s barely going to share with any of its gig workers,” said Aaron Tran as some random dude mowed his lawn for an unknown amount of money. “As long as the LüpHole app isn’t burdening me with the specifics on how little they’re gonna pay that guy per hour, my ignorant conscience is clean.”
At press time, McDonalds said it had fired all its minimum wage workers and replaced them with LüpHole independent contractors.
