In an unprecedented and grand gesture to celebrate their commitment to diversity, local law firm Piper, Hitler, & Jenkins paid homage to accountant Jeni Larson, their sole black employee, by bestowing her the privilege of a fuckload of extra work without extra pay.
“Jeni was simply the perfect person to run this committee because of her extensive work being black,” stated Senior Partner Laurie Piper. “While she expressed absolutely no desire to spend extracurricular time creating PowerPoints explaining microaggressions, we couldn’t think of anyone better to flaunt on our Facebook page as being head of the diversity committee before promptly forgetting it exists.”
While understanding the pitfalls of being the only person in charge of a committee that’s mostly for show, Larson said she was up to the task and ready to go.
“I’ll eventually suggest that we hire a more diverse set of employees, and they’ll counter with MLK-themed pens and carabiners, but that’s all in a 17-hour day’s work,” said Larson. “I’ve already been accosted by several older white employees to explain that their grandchildren’s support for Black Lives Matter does not mean they’ve decided their own lives don’t matter so might as well get it all out of the way at once.”
Sources say at press time the firm’s partners were brainstorming a Breast Cancer Awareness event and had already given known cancer survivor Erika Harrison the prestige of running and organizing the event without extra pay or health benefits.
