After years of failing to convince thousands of Washington State drivers that freeway left lanes are for passing, not blocking and babysitting everyone who wants to drive faster than 55 MPH, State Patrol says it is officially renaming the ‘Slow’ lane to ‘Passing Your Slow AF Ass’ Lane.
“It’s high time we accept and surrender to how freeway driving really works in Washington state: The left lane is for slowpoke dorks who are probably still proud of their days as school hall monitor,” State Patrol spokesman Hal Beardsley. “The right lane is for quickly, desperately and dramatically passing said dorks. Today we officially rename the Slow Lane the Passing Your Slow AF Ass Lane.”
Drivers who’ve been primarily passing on the right for years said they’re celebrating the move.
“This has been a long time coming,” said driver Nelly Patterson. “To me, the right lane is more than a passing lane – it’s a lane to quickly and angrily careen in and out of in a way that clearly communicates to other drivers, WTF is wrong with your slow AF ass? 60 MPH in the left lane for the last five miles? REALLY?!”
State Patrol says it’s also looking into creating a right-hand carpool lane for carpoolers who also want to drive faster than a grandma telling you for the 20th time how she met your grandfather.
