Confident they’ve sidestepped the legal trouble the NHL is facing after The Ave’s Kraken Bar & Lounge sued them for naming their new Seattle team’s restaurant The Kraken Bar & Grill, the NBA announced today it had narrowed down names for its potential Seattle expansion basketball team.
“We think locals will absolutely fall in love with the completely original names we’re considering for a future Emerald City expansion team: The Blue Moon Tavern, The Unicorn and The Crocodile,” said NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. “We feel that each of these names in some very abstract way also honors Seattle’s roots, all while coincidentally sounding like nice places to eat and drink.”
Silver said although they also used the NHL’s process to distill team name concepts, he’s confident the results are less problematic.
“First, we went to Yelp.com, then we typed and searched ‘Places Kurt Cobain maybe once pissed,’” Silver said. “Then we copied. And, finally, we pasted.”
While managers for establishments with very similar names in the city said they were too busy and perplexed to comment, managers for the University District’s College Inn Pub were outraged.
“We are tired of sports leagues overlooking us when the time comes to rightfully sue them for $3.5 million,” said new College Inn Pub owner Sally Washington. “This pandemic has been rough and now this. Come on, NBA, NHL, MLB — you know you’re sick of The Mariners too. We’ll have a lot of fun mascots for you once all the UW students are back.”
