Disregarding repeated protests from her grown daughter, Ohio mother Susan Varlick insisted that no line could be long enough to keep her from getting coffee at the “original Starbucks” at “Pike’s Place.”
“Look at those authentically gravitated mammaries — this is a completely different experience!” said Mrs. Varlick as they approached the cafe emblazoned with original Starbucks logos.
About 25 minutes into waiting in line for her signature drink, a smoked butterscotch frappucino blended creme, Mrs. Varlick abruptly cut off her daughter’s reminder that this was actually Starbucks’ second location.
“Did I tell you Santa was fake on your first Christmas? For Chrissakes, Sarah, let me have this,” asked Mrs. Varlick. “Now let’s take a selfie to post on Facebook instead. Don’t worry I’ll tag you so all your friends know what coffee aficionados we are now.”
Once the duo received their drinks about 20 minutes later, Mrs. Varlick reported that the rest of the day would be taken up with eating “chowda” and “riding the Space Needle.”
