In a stunning commitment to not come within six feet of any people on her afternoon walk today, local pedestrian Megan Wallace crossed the street a record-breaking 27 times all within one neighborhood block.
“It all started when I came down 63rd and saw a lady walking toward me on the same side of the street with a cute corgi – can’t expect a little short-legged furball to cross the street to avoid running into me, so I chose to cross the street myself,” said Wallace, after shattering last week’s record of 15 street crossings in one residential block. “Then there was a guy pushing a baby in a stroller on the other side of the street so I immediately crossed again – and that was just the first 10 feet of the street.”
From there, Wallace said she then bounced like a pinball from one side of the street to the next, barely getting her foot on the curb before realizing she needed to cross the street again to avoid another close human encounter.
“After that, there was a couple—and two people beats one of course so I had to cross again into a construction area where the sidewalk was closed so I crossed again,” Wallace said. “Then there was a person more attractive than me so naturally I forfeited the sidewalk again and stepped back into the gutter where their gaze implied I belong and crossed the street again. It was just bouncing off of curbs to avoid all of those things again and one lady walking a ferret named Stanley before finally reaching the finish line at the end of the block.”
As sunnier, warmer spring weather possibly draws near, Wallace said she expects to break her record again while remaining committed to not being one of those weird people who give up and only walk and run in the street.
