Not to be outmaneuvered by Guy Fieri’s delivery-only Flavortown Kitchen that just opened in South Lake Union, today local chef and restaurateur Tom Douglas debuted his own delivery-only diner, Flavoure Villa.
“I’ve tried everything to muscle him off my turf—even released rats into his kitchen, but he just turned them into Bacon Ratatouille Bomb Bites and they sold out in ten minutes!” seethed Douglas, turning on 19 industrial fryolators. “Oh, but two can play this freaky, fried flavors game, my frosted-tipped nemesis. You think Tom Douglas won’t deep-fry a Negroni? You come at the king of Seattle cuisine, you best not miss.”
But as the delivery-only menu wars between the two famed chefs intensified, Seattle residents caught in the crossfire risked dire gastronomical consequences.
“God, I don’t know if I can eat anymore of Tom’s Krazy Deep-fried Kumamoto Oyster Macarons,” said Queen Anne resident Paul Anderson, clenching his stomach. “Alright, this is the last one—otherwise I won’t have room for Tom’s Flavoire-tacular Triple-fried Coconut Cream Pizza Pie.”
Local food experts say they don’t expect tensions to die down anytime soon as next month Seattle’s historically most elite restaurant, Canlis, is expected to start a delivery-only menu as well featuring Wacky Wagyu Poppers, Queso Quail and Chee-Z Zebra.
