Inspired to release a more realistic and practical line of lingerie this Valentine’s Day, today Victoria’s Secret revealed its first line of edible sweatpants in “four heavenly flavors.”
“After sales dipped incredibly low last year, we realized nothing is sexier than comfort right now,” said company spokeswoman Vivica Romero. “And nothing says comfort like spreading your legs on the couch and having your partner eat up our Riveting Raspberry, Celestial Strawberry or Dove Milk Chocolate joggers on his way to making you his angel.”
Romero said sales of the edible sweats will extend to “whenever this thing ends” and that the sweet loungewear is perfect for single ladies too.
“Its raspberry licorice drawstrings are just as delicious to snack on for women alone watching the Duke of Hastings eat out Daphne Bridgerton on that spiral staircase for the 17th time since Christmas.”
If the new line is a hit, Romero said Victoria’s Secret may or may not follow it up by releasing a new line of breakfast sausage-flavored basketball shorts.
