Images of Betty White all over social media this morning were met with a mix of relief and confusion as news reports confirmed she was not dead, just granted a last-minute pardon by President Donald Trump.
“Jared Kushner was obvious, Lil Wayne makes sense, Rita Repulsa from Power Rangers is weird because she’s a fictional character but I guess still on brand for Trump, but Betty White?” said Molly Wright. “Did .. did Betty White kill somebody?”
While millions of Americans were left scratching their heads at whether she was capable of murder or some other high crime, others were quick to defend America’s Grandma.
“You know what, as far as I’m concerned, if Betty White killed somebody then they probably deserved it,” said Ben Carpenter, pulling up Golden Girls on Hulu. “I, for one, would be honored if Betty White murdered me.”
A spokesman for the comedy legend said they were also caught off-guard by the pardon, but said in a statement that she indeed plans to take full advantage of it over the next 24 hours.
“For this privilege and unexpected belated 99th birthday present, Ms. White just wanted everyone to know that she is deeply Blaahrfingaahr.”
