Conspiracy Facebook groups across the internet are spiking with activity today after reports surfaced from conspiracy theorist ‘D33P St8 H8r’ that the much anticipated Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine contains a miniaturized school bus full of children embarking on an educational field trip.
“I have it on good authority that a so-called ‘teacher’ has endangered the lives of her students by miniaturizing her school bus and has hitched a ride in the COVID ‘vaccine’ straight into the veins of some poor unsuspecting American,” said the prolific poster on the ‘Live Free or Die Young’ Anti-Vax Facebook Group. “Ask yourself this: If Big Pharma is willing to inject you with twenty-five school children and their sentient school bus, what else are they putting in this ‘vaccine’? And this week it might be someone else’s kids, but how long until the Clintons abduct your children to inject themselves with in some kind of Satanic bargain for eternal life?”
In a phone interview, the teacher profusely denied her Magic School Bus was in someone’s bloodstream hurtling toward a human lung.
“In the midst of the public discourse around vaccines, it’s my duty as an educator to set the record straight and show my students how this vaccine works,” said Walkerville Elementary teacher Ms. Frizzle. “But I would never ever use that as an excuse to enter Senator Mitch McConnell’s bloodstream and pose an ever-growing danger to his circulatory system. Hit it, Liz! Sorry, my pet chameleon was getting into some trouble.”
When reached for comment, outgoing Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos was mortified that a public school had the resources to afford a field trip.
