Following reports that he sees dead, captured and injured U.S. military soldiers as “suckers” and “losers,” President Donald Trump admitted this afternoon that the only kinds of soldiers he respects are the ones who lose American civil wars.
“There’s been a lot of rumors out there that I think people who put their lives on the line and paid a permanent price for the United States in World War I, World War II and Vietnam War and so on are suckers and losers – it’s all fake news!” said President Trump at a press conference today. “I love – greatest of all time love — soldiers who lose their lives and limbs as long we’re talking about people who lost a civil war on 100 percent American soil approximately 155 years ago.”
Trump also fought back rumors that he refuses to have injured and disabled veterans take part in public military parades with him.
“Are you kidding me? I’m the champion of injured soldiers and generals as long as they come in the form of injured Confederate statues which we must protect at every cost! Wounded veterans of other U.S. wars who continue to need adequate physical and mental health care remain suckers and losers in my book,” Trump said. “Now, I don’t know if this is because I’ve been spending so much time today trying to get Supreme Asshole Senator Mitch McConnell to think I’m cool, but I do declare y’all are givin’ me the vapors.”
Asked if he would ever recant statements like “I like people who weren’t captured” about soldiers like late Senator John McCain, a Vietnam War POW, Trump said never.
“Look, I don’t know if I can make this any more clear: I totally dig soldiers who sustain significant losses as long as we’re only talking about those who lost the Civil War,” Trump said. “I can only hope I can be as much of a loser as they were some day.”
