To cap a day of golden sunshine and clear blue skies so glorious it may have beat the best weather days of spring and summer this year, local idiot Ericka Wentworth reportedly thought watching an entire hour and a half of the year’s first presidential debate was a good idea.
“The entire time I was swimming, walking and playing in the warm sunlight outside today I was thinking, what an extra treat it will be to end this beautiful day with three old men cutting each other off every eight seconds,” said Wentworth. “Sure, I could have just kept on riding that endorphin high right into a home-cooked dinner and my next Schitt’s Creek binge. But I thought it would be more fun to play a debate bingo drinking game with some friends to pretend as if anything we’re hearing is even slightly funny.”
Wentworth, further confirming her status as a local idiot, then wasted more of her evening confirming and validating with others everything they already fucking knew about both debate participants months if not years ago.
“Sure I already knew Donald Trump was racist, but now I get to go to bed thinking about how our president just used national television to once again embolden white militia members to intimidate people of color and anyone standing with them in their fight for civil rights,” Wentworth said. “Hold on, I need to look at Twitter and Instagram to add a little fresh detail to my nightmares tonight.”
At press time, the local idiot was fully expected to still watch the next two presidential debates for some godforsaken reason with her friend, a local auditory masochist.
